Joe vs the System

Damn, blast, and eternal hellfire!

Stupid, PATHETIC, bloody machine hasn't let me sign in for AGES!!

Seriously, to all those more technically clued up than me (most, if not all of you), WHY would this evil Machine stop me from getting onto the Blogger sign-in page, when all other websites seem to have been working fine? For the last few weeks, I've waited for as long as 30, 40, 50 minutes for Blogger to load up, but it just hasn't. I have, in that period, become even more of a neo-Luddite than I was before. To the Devil with computers and everything asociated with them! I have nothing but admiration for my good friend Paddy, who seemed to bear very patiently with his machine when it wasn't working properly. Nothing irritates me more than a PC with attitude!!

Right, rant over. What's been going on over the past FOUR WEEKS!! (bl#*!y, f#*$ing, t#!*ing machine) A fair bit, actually. In a continuation of the rebellious technology theme, my mobile phone was broken whilst sledging. A friend had it in his pocket, and at some stage crash-landed on top of it, smashing the screen. Have a new one now but have lost all my numbers. If you are a person who likes to think of me as a 'contact', firstly my commiserations, and secondly please text or call my mobile so that I have your number again. Thanks.

Car broke down as well on Wednesday night. Very exciting. It just packed in while I was driving slowly past a group of hoodies. Very pleasant, helpful hoodies, actually, but all quite embarassing as they spoke to me in a language I didn't quite follow:

Hoody: You alright mate.

Me: Fantastic. Car's broken down.

Hoody: F***in' hell. Open the f***in' bonnet mate.

Me: Okay.

H: Where's the f***in' pump, mate?

M: The what?

H: The f***in' pump, mate.

M: I didn't know such a thing existed.

H: F***in' there it is mate. F***in' looks alright.

(H enthusiastically pumps)

H: Not f***in' working mate. We'll have to jump the f***er.

M: I'm not into that kind of thing.

H: We need to jump the f***in' f***er mate. The f***in' car.

M: Right. How do I do that?

H: Get in the f***er mate. Clutch down, into second, I'll give it a f***in' push, when I shout, clutch up.

M: Okay.

(Jump attempted)

H: Didn't f***in' work mate.

M: No, I noticed that too.

H: Got f***in' breakdown mate?

M: Yes.

H: Give the f***ers a call mate.

M: I will. Thank you.


Seriously, I was very grateful to this scary-looking stranger for doing what he could. I dutifully gave the f***ers a call, and they couldn't sort it out either. Had to have it towed to a garage on Thursday morning. Got the day off school, but ended the day £120 worse off. Still, I feel like the whole experience has been a bit of a rite of passage. I hope it doesn't happen again, but if it does I won't be as pathetic and stressed out as I was this time.

Oh, and for the literary types out there, I've just finished reading Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. Absolutely brilliant. Totally recommended for anyone who likes their novels.

Right, I feel 'purged'. This entry had to be a long one to help appease my frustrations of the past four weeks. You watch, I won't be able to post it now...