In previous years, I have been all caught-up in the 'new lease of life' spirit and set myself some New Years' Resolutions. With age, however, comes cynicism. I now know that these resolutions are likely to last until about mid-afternoon on January 3rd, by which time my self-discipline will have cracked and I'll be doing the exact things that I had resolved not to. With this in mind, I have decided to formulate 5 'anti-resolutions'. If I can keep these up for a few days, then lose all willpower and ignore them for the rest of the year, then 2007 will indeed be healthy, happy and prosperous.
1. Eat five portions of fish and chips each day, with extra grease and germs on a Friday.
2. Ignore my family and friends.
3. Try to make at least one child cry every day.
4. Rake up as much personal debt as possible, then give the nice people at Ocean Finance a call to see what they can do to help.
5. Instead of the desired six-pack, endeavour to have obtained a generously proportioned 'mono-pack' by October.
I know I can do it this year!!
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2 comments:
I'm sure you'll manage
...and still be thinner than me. Nnngggh!
Man, I sound like a girl writing that. Better counter...
Tits, jugs, beer, more tits! Yeah!
That's better.
LOL 2 post
LOL 2 comment
:-)
New years resolution - use more txt spk.
The problem is, I may actually succeed far too well in this.
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